We need to accept a person as a whole. We cannot expect the best version of every screen hero/heroine in our partner.

sheetal Uncategorized Leave a Comment

He was young and a high achiever. At the age of 28, his annual salary was one crore per annum. He completed his education at the top institutes of the country. If someone has reached this level at a young age, he has to be a workaholic. He was having a line of marriage proposals for him. His mother chose one. They were soon to be married. But Ahana started feeling very irritated. She would have an argument on every small thing. They were about to break their engagement. He did not want to lose her. He started crying and asked her, what is the problem? She screamed saying, you earn so much but you do not pamper me. He sat down in shock. He asked her, are you getting married to me for me or my money. She was honest, she said that it was an arranged marriage. I was told that he is a nice guy and he earns so much. He will buy you anything you desire. He wondered if he should be choosing such an alliance and where was he wrong. He discussed this with his mother and she also accepted that his salary was the first point she had shared with every prospective alliance. So, people would think of his salary and if it’s the salary, the girl might think, about how to spend that money.

He spoke to Ahana and told her that it is not her fault. This is how he is as a person and he is a workaholic. He works hard and with this kind of salary, she would see less of him. The company expects results. If she thinks that she can accept him, she can, or else, they would have to call off their engagement. The first thing she asked was if he could change his job? He replied, where would that help? He would still be the same. He would be busy similarly. This is how things are and will be. He cannot stop working or he could not work less. She sat and thought and decided to go ahead with the relationship.

After getting married, she had to adjust to the less availability, she had to create a better schedule. She also took up a job to keep herself busy and finally, they were able to create a peaceful and happy life together. They had to go through initial adjustment issues but they were able to work it out with their authenticity. Yes, because they had discussed everything in detail, they both were open to adjusting.

Relationship Learning:

  1. Set your expectations right. On one side, the family is promoting the boy’s salary as the main point and then they do not want the girl to think of the money.

For the girl also, it is evident that at an early age he has achieved so much, so he must have worked hard. This means, he is less available for other things or less interested in other things.

  • Honest communication is always needed in the relationship. Sometimes, both partners have different expectations. If they cannot be aligned then it’s better not to get into the relationship. Sometimes, we can live without those, so we can go ahead.
  • We need to accept a person as a whole. We cannot expect the best version of every screen hero/heroine in our partner. He is a workaholic, so he is less romantic. But maybe he would be more patient and understanding. He would bother less about home. We cannot expect a person who is always available for romance also to be equally earning. So we need to accept the facts.
  • Both the partners should have their lives together and as an individual too. In this scenario, Ahana took up the job. The purpose was not to earn money but to keep herself busy in a meaningful way. Or else, we start eating up each other’s way. We need to find a proper routine to keep busy.
  • We need to maintain authenticity in the relationship. We need open and honest communication always. In this scenario, they survived the low phase because of their open discussions.
  • We need to support each other in growing life as an individual rather than trying to stop each other. Then we develop that faith in each other. She initially thought that if he could change the job, which actually meant that if he could work less and then it meant stepping down from where he was. He had worked hard for that. He did not want to do that. So, he shared that honestly. She accepted him and that helped him in having faith and he motivated her to take up a job. They both were growing and contended.
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