She was having problem with her fifteen-year-old son. Whenever they talked he always shouted back at her. If she tried shouting back, he cried a lot. He would start crying saying, you do not trust me. She was almost about to slap him, and he told her, don’t you ever do that. She cried and wondered where did she go wrong. A lot of aggression is common right now in the covid scenario. people have less places to go and more aggression piling up sitting at home. She wondered what to do?
She started reflecting back and realized she never understood her son. She asked something and he did that. She never sat and thought if he wanted to do that or not. She felt that he was an obedient child. But she never thought that how he felt all these years. She judged him, made him do things, did a lot of things for him which she felt he needed but did not focus on what he wanted and all this created a huge gap. She started focusing on all the things which he had muttered, and she had ignored, and she could understand her own son. She cried when she realized all these years, she never made an effort to understand her child. She thought that she knew him but eventually because she did not understand him, she felt like she did not even know him any longer.
He was a controlling husband. They lived in a foreign land. She did all he had asked for. She took up a job, kept home like it was from a movie. Everyone praised how she maintained the home. He felt proud of himself. He praised himself when people praised her. After 25 years of marriage she asked for a divorce. He wondered why she wanted a divorce because as such they had no fights. She smiled after a long time, like she was finally setting herself free and said that we never fight because I never said anything. You never wanted to know what I wanted. You just wanted a clean home, and a partner who can share the financial burden in the foreign land. But i cannot do this anymore. He wondered if he had done anything wrong to her like misbehaved with her. He did not. He had never raised his voice on her but he never made an effort to understand what she wanted.
Try to know your partner, try to understand their emotions, try to understand your child, what do they like, what do they not like, what are their emotions, how are they feeling, if the other person has anything to say which is unsaid. Make it an open communication, make it beautiful! Even if it’s like jungle. To avoid conflict do not avoid the emotions.