When they came, they both were fighting. After they had cooled down a little bit, I got my space to ask something or speak. During the entire one hour, they were saying, what wrong the other partner had done. After I started talking, I asked them, the whole day you have been thinking about what wrong the other person is doing and it is making you angry. When we are angry all day, it will definitely start a fight at some point. Now, for some time, can we focus on what right I have done? They were quiet and could count 2-3 points. Amidst all this, they also started doing a few wrong things to each other or let’s say, not doing the right thing which further aggravated the fights. Like the wife said, why should I make tea for him. (As per me there is no rule book. But then there is no rule book, which says, the husband has to work hard to earn money and keep the family running. It’s a division of responsibility. If the husband is fulfilling his, the wife must fulfill hers.) She did not make a cup of tea for him, so he shouted and then she said, I am not your servant. Kind of a common scenario. For one week, they agreed on following the reverse route. Instead of thinking, what wrong the other person is doing, they had to focus only on what right they are doing.
Its a moment of self-realization. Because they both started improving their behaviors. They both started feeling better and the arguments reduced within the first week. Because now in their minds there were no arguments. Yes, all the arguments first happen in mind and then they have an outbreak in any situation. So we need to stop arguing in our minds first if we really want to create peace.
To stop these arguments, stop focusing on what’s wrong. Because the thought process of focusing on wrong will lead to another wrong and doing wrong. Start focusing on what’s right. It will start a new pattern of what’s right. Charity begins at home and focuses also shall be on what’s right done by me.
We do not need arguments here like what if the other person does not improve etc. Eventually, things do fall in place and our vibrations start affecting. Still, if there are extreme cases, then we need to add further positivity. But here right now, we are talking about, how we can keep improving everyday peace.
So focus on what’s right done by you.