Don’t feel bad about the past. We all do better when we know better.

sheetal Uncategorized

When I was in 12th standard I was feeling bad about a question that I had written in my first standard exam. I always wondered if I knew the answer at that time, I would have scored better. And that thought pricked me many times. Now, I wonder, is it fair? I am sure, that if I knew better, I would have done better. When I got to know better, I started doing better. Whenever we do something, it’s to the best of our experience and knowledge. If still, things have not turned out well, we need to know, that they are supposed to happen that way only. No point in feeling bad or regretting the past.

A lady came over to meet. She shared her guilt. She was having an estranged relationship with her daughter. When her daughter was small, she used to hit her daughter a lot. Now, when her daughter was 15, her daughter was in a hostel and whenever she came home, they had fights and the daughter was hitting back at her mother. So everyone was scared of the visit. The mother wondered that if she knew better, she would have done better. Yes, feeling bad about it would never help. What would help is an honest conversation, healing, and yes, talking to the doctor. When a child hits back at parents, the child feels worse than parents and the daughter was also piling up a guilt. So she needed another level of support. Instead of feeling fearful and bad, we need to start focusing on solving the situation. They took their daughter to a counselor, and the daughter was able to share many traumas. Once all the trauma was shared, the daughter stopped feeling angry about the past and guilty about the present. Together they started focusing on having a better relationship rather than feeling bad about the past and making things further bad.

Solve it, instead of feeling bad about the past. We all are trying to do our best.

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