They were in a joint family. It was a big family. Three brothers, their wives, and their father’s brother’s family. There were many children and yes, the daughters-in-law were supposed to listen to the elders and there were always some clashes. DILs felt that whatever they did was never enough. Amidst all this, one created a very beautiful relationship with her husband and always praised him after years and one ended up living in a separate room after years of problems. The reason was, in the first scenario, the gentleman was very supportive and he had the guts to tell his mom if she was wrong. When his wife was right, he took a stand for her. However, in the second scenario, her husband never took a stand for her. Whenever his mother said something, he always said please adjust. Where does it matter if she would just ignore everything and we all know, not always everything can be ignored?
After years when the two discussed their relationships, the first one said that it’s because of my husband I have been able to survive all. And the second one said that he never took a stand for me, so it became difficult for me to survive. I lost all the relationships as I could not tolerate things further and I had to take a stand for myself.
Learning, be there for your partner, no matter what. I am not asking to support for the wrong things but at least support when he/she has weak moments and she needs you. We all can sail through worst if we have each other’s support.