I have twin girls who turned four in January. I learn so much from them. Their favorite thing is to play with playdough and we used to call it clay in our times. They come in so many colors and sizes these days. It surprises me how things have evolved. So she had two small portions of clay of different colors. She kept working on them and kept mixing them for a long time till the time they became one. After that, she came to me and said, see mommy, now it is one color. Those two colors were not visible. It was a new color, perfectly blended. I could not tell if they were two colors before.
When I was looking at her achievement, I realized this is marriage. Two people of different colors come together and they have to keep working on mixing with each other so well that they become one.
So many times, people come to me with marital relationship problems. They start by doing things for each other and then they remember who they were and then the fight happens. They remember what was their color and then the fight happens. But in reality, if both of the units do not forget their real colors, they can never create a happy married life. They both have to start liking and accepting the new color and see it as own color or else there would always be problems.
So where does it lead to?
Throw your ego out of the window. Forget who you were and what you were doing. Remember what is required. It is a total sacrifice and rediscovering yourself. If you are ready for that, get married and you will be happy. If you are not ready for that, then work on your color and be prepared to let it go. Do it with love and surrender. Do not get married just because you feel it’s a part of life. get married to create a new one from two of you.
Believe me, it’s never enough even after 40 years of marriage. You have to continue mixing it and doing it.