Her biggest fear was what would others think of me.
Result:
She never expressed herself.
She kept tolerating even wrong from others.
She never dared to do things which she wanted to do (In the younger years, it was always about what would my family think of me)
She was stressed out always
Now, her body had become balloon of emotions, ready to burst anytime.
How she got this fear?
Most of us do this mistake as a parent as we feel embarrassed ourselves. If child is doing something against the behavior of social manners, we tell child that what would aunty think of you better behave. There are two psychologies behind that, first is, not accepting own responsibility and using someone else’s name, second is we are feeling embarrassed and we in turn want the little one to feel.
The result is, we pass on the legacy of what would others think of me from generation to generation.
So I asked the reverse question: What do you think of yourself.
At the age of 60, when she looked most pretty, where her mother had always suppressed her, she was crying. Because she realized that she has never spent time with herself. She has spent 40 years of her life only thinking about what others are thinking and assuming they should think good of her and the pressure always increased even when kids did not think good of her and told her bad things. So she just wasted so many years and thoughts as she never gave a thought to herself. Because of this fear she never even shared things around and always lived in varied kinds of fears.
She came out of all this, her depression and anger and her personality shone when she started focusing on what she was doing and what she thought of herself rather than seeking everyone’s approval. We cannot have and we do not need also. All we need is good deeds and trust in self that what we are doing is right. Also, we release others of the same pressure as they also do not have to bother about what we are thinking of them. They are also free!
