One girl had problems with her sister and parents. She always fought with them and told them that when she would get married, she would create a better life without them. She would get a peaceful life. In her new home, gradually she started having problems with her in laws and husband and she reached to a point where she realized that there must be a problem with her that’s why in all her relations there were problems. Including her friends and new friends! She wondered what is the problem? She reached back to her roots where she started having problems with her sister and parents. She realized few things:
She never looked at what they did for her
She never cared for their emotions
She did not treat them with the respect
She only looked at what she wanted
She always counted what they could not do and counted more what she had done, so they stopped asking anything from her
She always expected them to pamper her, talk good about her and be there for her.
She realized, same thing she repeated here and developed problem in all her relations. She was crying alone and did not know what to do. However, as she had realized things, she got the answer too. She had to undo things. She started valuing what they did for her, what she could do for them, how others feel around her, how she could appreciate what others are doing rather than complaining what they did not do! When she really started pondering over things, she realized she never gave love to what her family deserved from her. More she was working on improving her relationships, more love she was feeling. More love she was feeling as she was realizing how much everyone has contributed in her life. More she realized this more she knew she had to do more. Her all the relationships started improving. She did not have to worry after that what others would think of her, if they liked her or not etc. Suddenly she realized she had no complaints and now all the relations were working out.
Similarly, another gentleman had problems with his relationships. He tried hard to keep them along but he ended up having relationship which were only need based. If someone needed him, he approached him otherwise not. because his focus was authority rather than relationship. So people always felt suppressed under him. But when he realized this, he only asked one question always, how can I handle it with love. How can I add more love. What should I say, which would bring in more love? When he started focusing on love, his relations started working out. He realized that only way to touch someone’s heart is with love.
So be love, focus on love, deal with love, work with love and work for love…
