Instead of expecting others to change, whatever is irritating you is inside you. Work on that.

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One lady came over with anxiety issues as her daughter was spending a lot of money every month on her child. She shared that she gets into panic mode, when sees the bills coming. (Bill was paid by her daughter only as she was financially independent).

I understand, being a parent, we do have concerns for our children but to interfere in their life, we need to see till what extent and also, when we are unable to, to take it to what level emotionally. So she had drawn her line but she could not draw that line emotionally. So when we started discussing, we found out that, she grew up in an environment of lack and they never had enough money for anything. If they spent even one penny on luxury, they had to hear a lot from her parents and they always had fear with money in hand as it had to be spent on the exact thing. So she was afraid. But her daughter did not grow up in that environment, times changed. Her daughter was financially independent and wanted to pamper her baby. When her daughter was doing that, it brought out her childhood fears. So to heal her anxiety, she had to heal her fears and accept that it’s ok to spend on luxury!

One gentleman used to get very angry at every small thing. He reached a point where it had started to affect his health. He blamed others, but then he realized that the same thing was happening around others too. But they were not that angry all the time. So it had to do something with him. The moment he realized this, he started working on himself. He started accepting things the way they were rather than expecting them to be the way he wanted. Whenever something happened, he told himself that it’s ok like this. Gradually he became better and started feeling peaceful.

So work on the things inside yourself rather than expecting others to change.

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