My girls are growing up, and they are gaining their independence and freedom. So we were going out, and they wanted to choose their clothes. Sometimes, kids can choose clothes which we may feel are not good enough for the ocassion. But they do not care, and they feel happy and proud of their selection and how they look in it. And it’s so refreshing to see that attitude. So my girl selected a dress which I was a little apprehensive about. So I told her, it will not look nice and she simply looked at me and said, but mom, I look nice to me and these clothes look nice to me. I did not have any words and she went like that. I was amazed at her confidence. I wondered where did it matter? Whom I was worried about? For me, she is always a lovely daughter and I would love her same irrespective of everything else. And she was looking nice to herself. She was happy and felt like a fairy princess. So I was worried about the onlookers? And why should I be worried? We all have such hidden thing where we seek approval from strangers, and we wonder if others approve of us. But in reality, it is about how we feel.
On the other ocassion, my another daughter wanted some candies in a big departmental store and then she started screaming. She might have thought that I would give in because it is a public place. but i waited. And I told her, she won’t get it. The girl at the counter said, mam it’s just one candy, you can let her buy it. It was a big lollipop worth 150 rs and I did not want my daughter to eat such a big candy i.e. so much sugar! I asked her, if she would let her child to eat this size candy and she was embarassed. I told my daughter, I am going and she can come with me but no candies. Eventually my daughter followed.
I am not saying, I never care about what others are thinking, but I do understand, and I try to overcome that thought where I take the decision on the basis of what i am thinking and what is my child thinking. I try to decide on the basis of what is making her happy rather than the strangers are approving of it. I try to discuss with them, how they feel rather that what others are thinking.
So your parenting should be your decision rather than what others are thinking. Give yourself that freedom, set yourself free and let your child have that freedom too. Or else the child will grow up to be an individual, where the child is always imprisoned by thought, i.e. what others are thinking of me, if they think I am right.
