One 24 years old guy said that I do not like when my father works so hard. He should rely on me. He was doing fairly well in business. I asked him to talk to his father and know that how does he feel and if he will not be working, how will he feel. He asked his father and his father said that I feel so great about myself that I am working and of being use. If I would not be working, I would feel so wasted. I would feel I have become old and I am dying. So he came back with the answer.
The problem was, that he was taking it as his inefficiency if his father had to work. But this was his own feeling. The fact was his father was working for his own feelings. This young guy had created a scenario and feelings around that and kept feeling bad for that. However, no one was responsible for his feelings. So he started telling himself that his father was happy and if he would be away from work, he would devoid his father of happiness. But then the big question came up, are we always responsible for own feelings?
And the answer is YES!
Even if someone is doing bad to us and again the answer is yes.
Let’s understand this.
Everyone reacts differently to different situations and people. Trigger points may be same or different but what comes out is what’s inside us. It reminds me of a small story. In a restaurant few people were having dinner and suddenly one cockroach appeared. The lady started panicking and screaming. The gentleman was furious when he saw the creature and the waiter came, calmly picked up the creature and threw it outside. It was same situation but everyone reacted differently depending on their own feelings. Yes, they all created own feelings. Similarly, depending on our thought process, we all create different feelings and we are responsible for them.
So what shall we do?
Sit down and ask:
What’s important for me
What should I leave
What’s bothering me and why? How can I leave it?
Can I forgive?
Can I shift my focus to better things
Can I change, what’s bothering me?
If it’s about past, nothing can be done, so move on, make an effort, take a decision
If you have to share something with someone, then share it
Can I have a different perspective of same thing?
Solve your feelings and be happy!
