They came together to solve issues of the past 10 years of marriage. They were arguing and abusing each other in front of me. After they were a little settled, I asked them, why have you come? They said it in one voice to solve things. I asked them, after one hour if you have felt a little better about each other or you are feeling worse?
They looked down and said that we are embarrassed. No, it is not the point. You can argue in front of me. At least I would know you are honest and I would know the depth of the situation. But I would really like to know how do you feel so that you know what you are doing. He said that he was feeling like at a bad place again. Because she embarrasses him in front of the public every time and she was doing that again. He was feeling a little worse again. She also shared a similar feeling. But you wanted to solve everything. And by arguing like this, you are making things worse.
Point taken.
But the next question is:
Why did you argue?
I did not start! That is fine. Who started it, does not matter. It’s started. But why did you start?
They both accepted a few things:
- I wanted to prove my point.
- I wanted to prove I was right.
- I could not accept how wrong he showed me
- I could not accept that he/she is saying I am not trying hard!
Ok, you both are trying hard. But you wanted to solve. Where is the intention of solving things? Without having an intention to solve, how would you solve it?
So what shall we think?
When you have an issue, set your intention, we need to solve everything with love in the highest interest of each other. After this, you will solve everything and there will be no residue left. Have an intention to solve everything with love and see the difference.
After one week, when they came back, they were much calmer. They had to set their intentions every day to solve.
Learn to solve everything with love.
