Parents cannot see any fault in their children. Or let’s say, their love is above all those faults. When children are born, they idealize their parents. They feel their parents are like God. Their parents mean the world to them. But then children grow up and they can see all the faults in their parents. They are unable to overcome that gap. Where they had idealized someone and that person turned out to be not so perfect and this gap keeps increasing.
We need to accept them and love them the way they are. We need to know, we cannot change them. We need to know that they are humans and they will have problems. They will do mistakes. They also must have done mistakes while raising us. Still we need to learn to love them unconditionally. They have done so much for us and they can do no more. But someone needs to do things for them without obliging them. Someone needs to love them and take care of them without expressing that something is being done for them.
Recently met a mother, whose son and daughter in law express a great deal of effort if they have to make a morning tea for her. Her daughter in law would tell her that how to make one of tea will disturb her schedule and sleep and the son supported saying she sleeps very late due to kids. It reminded me of my time when my girls were born. For a year me and my husband, we used to feel like zombies who had not slept because my twin girls had to be given milk a few times during the night as well as they were premature born. They are four and half now and I wonder if I ever sleep because they cough and I wake up to check upon them. I am sure all mothers must have done that. But then to hear about a great deal if a cup of tea has to be made, I wonder where are we headed.
One old mother shared that how her son shouts at her for anything. As per him, she is not presentable enough for his friends and colleagues. It again reminded me of how messy it used to be so many times while when my girls used to have meals at public places. Sometimes, they would vomit also and we would be shy and expect everyone to understand that it’s ok, it’s a baby. But then we also need to know, it is ok, they are old. They can spill things.
And also, we need to know, they are humans. They have done mistakes. They can do more mistakes. They have less style as they are from previous generation. They like to be comfortable than stylish. They might have done things which we may not approve but we have done those things too. It’s ok. We just need to accept them and love them as they are. They can say things and it’s ok.
So just love them.
