He was either angry or unhappy. His wife was always scared of him. She did not know on what thing he might loose it. His children were scared of him too. They were under the constant fear that he would lose his temper and they would get punished. They could not play around him or eat around him. because they could not act like adults in terms of their habits, so they acted like adults and sit silently in front of him. He wanted to be happy! He did not know how he could be?
So I told him, to accept everything the way it is and he had some issues. He asked, then what about being a perfectionist? What about things in order? Well, who has defined perfectionism? For me wearing loose clothes is perfect because it is comfortable. For someone, it might be always dressing up nice. Perfectionism is in thought process. For you having things in order at home is perfect and for me, when children do not play and they are not being children, then that’s imperfect. They are not perfect children if they do not act like children like running around, making noises, jumping on sofa, spilling food and drinks etc. If they are sitting silently and behaving on everything I feel there is something wrong with those children. He got a different perspective on everything.
But then what to do?
Right now, you have a certain picture of having a perfect life and when things are not as per that, you feel mad. What if you feel, you are blessed that everything is there. When you look at the children running, it means, they are happy. When your employee messes up, you see that you have work which someone else is doing, and you have people working for you! When your wife is looking like a mess, you can feel grateful that you have a dedicated wife. It depends on what you want to think and how you want to feel. You can have a perfect mind when you can think the way you want to think rather than being controlled by the mind. . Instead of having perfection around you, have a perfection inside you.
He got it and felt happy gradually because now, he was being grateful for what was there rather than complaining about what was not there.
