She was hurt and grieving. She was having continuous fights with her husband. Her husband told her that his family had done bad things to her and now, they no longer lived together, he had no role in that, so why was she still fighting with him? Well, she did not know the reason. She also wondered and did not want to fight as she knew her husband was not a bad person. He had never done anything to harm her. She did not want a divorce too. After a lot of looking inside and reflecting upon it, she realized, she was not hurt in the present because of what her in laws had done. She was hurt because of what her husband did not do for her at that time. She expected him to support her and he did not. HE did not hurt her but he did not take a stand when he should have. The moment she realized this, she started working on healing. Because then she had to tell herself, how much he has cared for her throughout his life and how he has been with her in everything. It was his family and he could not take a stand every day. When he could not see everything, he asked to shift out. When she realized this, their fights started reducing.
When we keep blaming the person, we are unable to work on the real reason why it is hurting us. Also, it would add to the hurt and may be anger and hatred for the entire thing. Amidst all this, the person who is hurt loses further. If we work on the reason why it is hurting rather than who has hurt us, we can expedite the healing and regain our peace.
