Are you feeling mad within your mind?
Are you feeling devalued because someone else said so?
Are you wondering why others are the way they are, kind of so mean
Do you want to say something and you do not say anything and later on you keep moving that conversation in your head and you keep reconversing, this is what you should have said?
The answer to all these things is:
When people speak, the way they act, what they say, it depends on who they are not who you are.
I remember once a very beautiful lady in 30s was in depression. Since the time she got married her sister in law would take her in front of a mirror and say, who says you are beautiful. You are not! This constant behavior made her doubt herself, if she was beautiful, what bad she had done, or if she was not or if her beauty was the culprit and many things like that.
It took a while for her to accept and realize that her sister in law was jealous of her and when anyone in the extended family said that your daughter in law is very beautiful, she felt jealous and tried putting her down. She had done nothing wrong, it was her own inferiority complex. Some people they feel better and gain strength by taking away others strength. So the way her sister in law was acting, it was defining her, not the one who was the victim. Often the mean one, bad one, over powers the nicer one which we need to realize and nip the bad in bud.
In another incident, I had a pleasure to sit with a gentleman, who had genuine compliments for everyone. He was talking nice but very assertive, he did not take any bad from anyone, and always helped people in feeling better about themselves. When I was talking to him, he shared that he knows that he is a nice human being, he helps people, he cares for people and after that if someone says something, let them. What he is, he knew, he did not need someone else’s approval for what he is. He felt nice about himself, he always made others feel nice about themselves.
It is like you can only give what you have.
So let people be who they are, be who you are. Do not change yourself for how others are. If they are bad, let them be. But you be yourself. Always ask yourself, if this is real me and keep bringing the real me back.
