He was a frequent visitor to many places of religion. He read many spiritual books. He kept saying that I am looking for peace. I asked him, are you looking for peace or you have not found any yet? He said that I feel very restless and that’s why I keep looking. What is making you restless and what are you looking for? He shared that he had many problems with his mother while growing up. he hated his mother. His mother is a part of him and that’s why he feels restless. What do you want? Do you want a loving relationship with your mother? HE shared no but I do not want to feel what I am feeling.
You know what you are feeling but you need to know what you want to feel so that you can work on that rather than working on something which you do not want. Now, because you have been working on that, it is growing stronger. Because you feel dark inside, you have been trying to find that light outside still feeling restless. What shall I do? You need to take a decision that you want to let go and create a fresh relationship with your mother. It would be a bold step but you need to do it. It is not for her, who has been waiting for you. Until now, you have been ignoring her thinking why should you visit her because she did not treat you right. You should visit her because you need that peace. It ends where it started. He started meeting his mother and one day finally, he was able to take out his anger and frustration, and hatred on her and took his heart out. She shared her side of the story. He realized that she did not treat him right because she was under a lot of family pressure to do many things and she took it out on him. She was too young to handle and she did not have much of his father’s support.
He was able to forgive her, and serve her in her last days, and when she died, he was peaceful and she was peaceful. He did not let her go without solving. After that, he was able to work on every other issue. He could feel that light within. He was able to connect with the light around him, once he found that place of light within. He followed the route of forgiveness, gratitude, and compassion. He wound his path and after that, he stopped visiting various places. He knew he has to work on himself everyday.
