One gentleman was going through depression after his divorce. He had done many mistakes which was hurting him more. It is easy to live with the fact that someone else has done wrong. But when you realize you have done something wrong, it is very difficult. You become full of guilt, you do not like to see yourself in the mirror, you keep cursing yourself more and more. He got into an extra marital affair when his wife was ill. She was not terminally ill but she had a long illness. She was on bed for few months. After she got up from bed, their relationship could never came back on track and they got divorced. He was all the time cursing himself for the bad things. He was questioning himself for why did he do that, what if he would not have done that and many questions like this.
We cannot change past. When we ask such things we are hoping that past would change. But it will not. There are many things which hold us back from past. We need to understand few things:
1. Past can never be changed (Hoping it would have been better is a wastage of energy)
2. More and more we think about what had happened, more energy we are putting into it and we invite similar more events in our life.
3. WE spoil current relationships by talking bad about past mistakes
4. We have limited time and energy and if we keep spending on past, we would have little left for future
So what shall be done:
1. Stop repeating things in your mind
2. Accept the past the way it is, create a positive image of that in your mind by telling yourself, what positive happened after that
3. Forgive yourself and others to heal your past
4. Do not ask questions like what bad I had done that I deserved this
5. Stop talking about past all the time
6. Stop holding everyone culprit
How to focus on future
1. Ask yourself, what do you want for future
2. How it can happen
3. Think and talk about future
4. Ask yourself more about the shape of relationships, yourself, work and everything else for future
Every area of your life is important. Work on everything in future like health, relationships, money. Instead of having a desire for better fast, focus your energy on creating a better future.
