Yes, yesterday’s incidence has shaken up the nation. A young successful actor committed suicide. It is not about he being famous. It is about at this young age, a financially successful person has committed suicide. It brought back so many memories where people have approached me for their children who were very aggressive and then suicidal or few people who shared their suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, they feel life is tough and they are unable to take the daily drama of life and they feel there is no escape or there is no end to it, they start having suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, it’s the guilt also. They feel they have done really something bad, and there is no redemption from that.
First of all let’s stop judging things. Everyone is different and everyone has different levels of pain endurance.
The second thing is let’s start listening to our loved ones, even if they are sharing the same thing 100 times. It means they are still dealing with such situations. Infact, encourage them to share more and more. Do not offer a judgemental gaze, give a loving touch to your loved ones.
Encourage your children to start sharing their emotions from the beginning. And then explain them, that it is ok to be angry and it is ok to be sad. Also, explain them the reason for those incidences. For example, my daughter’s throat was bad and she had mucus. So I told my husband, not to share fruits with her before sleeping. (She is prone to vomiting). So she shared that she did not like it. So I had to ask her and explain to her that, if she would have eaten, she might would have vomited while sleeping and it would have increased her mucus. After that she was good.
Let them face difficult emotions and let them handle. Do not teach them to avoid emotions or emotional situations. For example, buying something not needed just out of the emotion that the child might feel bad, if he would not get it. Let them feel bad, let them learn that we cannot get everything, let them learn that we shall not buy what is not needed.
If they do something wrong, let them learn there is a punishment in life, even if they cry.(Most of the children know that their parents can’t see them crying).
Do not hand over everything in platter. Let them work for it.
Please teach them values. Please be, what you are teaching. Let them follow you. Yes they always follow you. When you have emotions, share with them, and seek their opinion too. Let them know how to handle emotions.
Raise loving kids. raise strong kids.
