They were just married for 6 months and his wife did not want to live with him. She said that he is so rude, never ready to listen to her, and he would always want everything his way. If this is a situation right now, better she would walk out now before it’s too late for her to walk out. I asked him, what was his thought process. He said that if he would listen to her, he would be called henpecked by his friends and he did not want anything to change between him and his family. They should not feel he has changed after marriage. I asked him, if any of his friend were married and how do they treat their wives. He gave it a thought and wondered if they had done the same thing. He realized, his friends always respected their wives, listened to them and cared for them but no one called them henpecked. It was his own thought process which he had built while friends were joking when they were small. Now, came the great question, nothing changed. Then why did you get married? If no one is ready for the change, then why do people get married? They want a new member in the family, they want the son to share life with someone but nothing shall change. What type of education it is? There is a change and a very big one, so everyone shall accept it happily and shall guide the boy accordingly. So that the new member can adjust happily. He realized his mistakes and apologized. But the girl was scared and she was not ready to let go. However, when she realized that what type of future she could have, she decided to give it a thought. They both corrected themselves, where she did not threaten to walk out on every small thing and he cared for her and made an effort to understand her. Their relationship bloomed.
Marriage is about love, compassion, understanding and sacrifice. Where we need to sacrifice our own needs, time, ego, anger and old perspectives. We need to put partner’s need ahead of own needs. If we are not ready for the sacrifice, we will not be able to nurture the relationship. We need to nurture it with love and that brings everything. There is no obligation in a relationship. Whatever we do, its needed for each other.
