A lady came with all the relationship problems she felt she had. She lived with her in laws for the initial years of marriage and then they got separated and started living with herb husband. Her husband always tried bridging the gap between himself and her as their relationship suffered because of those initial years. (Not very uncommon). Sometimes the fights were over why he took their side, sometimes over, why he was quiet and things like that. While all this was happening, the distance between him and his family also increased. They were hardly talking to him also.
All these years she felt that she suffered for those two initial years but what she did not realize was that her husband suffered much more than that. She still had her family. Generally after marriage the physical distance between a girl and her family increases but emotional distance decreases. But for the man, the emotional distance increases with his own family too which is much more painful. On top of that, if he ends up losing a happy relationship with his wife too, he would lose both the worlds. Neither he would get own family not he would get his wife and family love.
The moment she realized this she broke down. She realized that how much her husband must have suffered. Their relationship improved after that.
Often we are so much focused on own pain and small issues we forget to see what the other person might be going through. It is not about only husband and wife, it is also about every relationship which goes through various challenges. Even for small children, they have their own issues and we might ignore them thinking they are small. But they are not small for them. When they feel emotional about them, instead of ignoring them if we can see the pain and why they are feeling that way, we will be able to create a better bonding with the next generation too.
Always try to understand other’s pain if you really want to create a stronger relationship based on the understanding.
