After 30 years of marriage their problems had increased so much that they could no longer live with each other. They did not want separation because of children, their partners, societal pressure etc. But it was becoming impossible to live with each other. In every fight they would fight for all the 30 years. There were issues which were unresolved. With every fight the issues increased. Because it was an addition to the last issues. More over, with every passing years the frequency of fights increased, so it made it impossible to live together. The bigger issue was that they could not be separated and they could not live together, so they had reached to a point of self curse, cursing each other or being suicidal as they did not find any solution.
So we need to understand few things here:
1. Often we think we have let go off the issues and old hurt but we have not!
2. We have just buried them.
3. We repeat those hurts again and again in mind to increase the experience of pain.
4. We add to our story by adding others story, adding new things in old story, connecting old patterns with the new ones
5. We do not try to resolve it but we try to move on.
First of all we need to understand our mind does not forget especially those things which we repeat many times.
We tend to repeat bad experiences more than good ones. So they become a bigger experience than the good ones.
We try to ignore own doings and find mistakes with others.
It is Universal way of healing us and giving several opportunities to heal or else the hurt would keep increasing, we would always be hurting/
It is like Universe will keep stirring us again and again and whatever is there at the bottom would come out. Sometimes we get old pleasant memories and times hurtful ones.
So how do we heal it:
1. Stop blaming anyone for your situation. Take charge of your emotions.
2. Try to understand intentions rather than actions
3. try to understand the type of person he/she is. (Often everyone is good)
4. learn to forgive before letting go.
5. Do not ignore your emotions if they are hurting you. Talk about them and work on them.
6. Keep working your emotions till they stop hurting you and you can talk about them like its someone else’s
7. You are not same, you will never be same. So your emotions are manipulating you by continuing. Do not let them hold you back and keep getting added to the new ones.
8. have an intention to resolve things with love rather than to fight, to blame and to hurt each other more.
Heal your emotions to heal your life.
