She was crying badly. She said that no one wants to talk to me. I have no friends. My husband avoids me. He comes home late and sleeps as soon as he is back. My own parents do not want me around, what should I expect from my in laws. When I call up and ask my mother that I need to talk to her, she would avoid my call. She would always act like she is busy but she is not. In 3 years of marriage, I do not think I remember any happy moments or loving moments. I asked her, what are her complaints and she made a long list of complaints which she had against her parents and her husbands. I did not ask about her friends. Ok, so what are things you think they have done for you? She started crying that they do not even like to talk to me, so how can it be possible that they are doing anything for me. Anything from past? She was furious and said that she has been managing her life on her own pretty much. I asked her if she is working or has she ever earned in her life and she said that never. But then who had been paying her expenses? She said that earlier it was her parents and now it is her husband. But you said that they are not doing anything for you and she said that it is a basic thing. It is their duty. Now, she cant feel obliged for eating her food. It is her husband’s basic duty. So what are you doing for them? She counted few things like cooking for him. So don’t you think, this is also your basic duty? Oh, these days girls do not have to do that. Who does that. Then why he has to pay for your expenses? Do you realize that to manage whole set up he works all day? What if he stops paying? Every husband does this was her answer. But it is not necessary. I know so many husbands not doing enough for their wives. She was again furious and said that I have come to you for solution and you are trying to make me feel bad. So what is the solution?
Well for you and everyone else, all we need to learn is gratitude. If we feel no one is doing anything for us, it does not mean that no one is doing anything for us. What it means is we are taking life and everyone for granted. We are unable to recognize what everyone else is doing for us. It is the cause of our misery. We have expectations and we ignore what others are doing. Everyday we take it for granted that sun has to rise and we are entitled for this but we are not. We must be grateful for sun to rise and give its light to us. So the solution is starting from waking up to taking sleep, we need to see what all we are receiving. We need to be grateful even if we are breathing. Even if its servant who is serving us, we are not entitled for that. What if we wont find one? A rickshaw puller is ready to take us in stifling heat, what if he would not have. No money can buy that comfort. So go and see what all is being done for you. She was amused with the solution. She wondered if that is all? And yes that is all. Come back after one month and you need to maintain your gratitude diary. Start writing in the morning and keep doing. She came back after one month and she was crying. She said that she had realized why people were staying away from her. She never realized their contribution in her life. Now, she had a nxt question. What should I train my one year old daughter on? That she does not face this problem and the answer is again same. If we all can learn gratitude, we can live this life happily, peacefully and in abundance. Gratitude heals everything. it hals our health, relationships and wealth. Without gratitude, we would be breathing but not living. So if we really want our children to learn one thing which can lay their strong foundation then its gratitude. It would always keep them rooted but fortify the life.
