Many common cases in which past was interfering with present:
1. A man cheated a lady when she was 16 years old. She could not trust any man after that. She wanted to get married but any man she came close to, her fears would push away.
2. During early days of marriage the couple had lots of fight. After 20 years of marriage, they would keep reminding each other of those things in every fight and it would spiral badly.
3. Her mother was frustrated because of in laws and joint family situation. She would take out anger on her 10 years old girl. The girl developed hatred and they could not live peacefully together.
4. One day his girl left him saying she is in love with someone else. Even after 4 years and trying his best, he is still stuck in the moment. Has already left studies and is not willing to do any work too. He feels he is not worthy enough.
5. She loved her husband dearly but everytime she would slam him for his family’s bad behavior towards her. They had been living independently for past 7 years though. Because of her in laws’ 7 years old behavior, she was unable to live peacefully with her husband right now.
The list would be endless! Generally people have been unable to come out of past because of few reasons:
1. They do not have a good listener. As soon as they would start saying something people would say, forget it! Its over. ( Its over for others, but inside the person it is still happening)
2. No one has understood their pain or tried understanding. They have not received compassion for the pain they have gone through.
3. because no one is listening outside, so they keep repeating that inside 100s of time, making it more permanent inside their heads.
4. People often judge such incidents and pass very apathetic comments.
Generally what a person wants is someone should understand that I have gone through lots of pain, I have been a victim and I am dealing with it. SO how the situation can be handled:
1 For the person whose loved one has gone through pain, listen to them patiently, even if its 100 times, do not shun them, be compassionate. Do not suppress them or do not be judgmental. Try to help them in connecting with better memories associated with incidences.
2. The person who is going through can do following:
A. talk to your friends, do not suppress. Suppressed pain will always cause physical ailments.
b. Look at the positive outcome of those incidences. Generally those negative experiences have come to leave us with learning and some better situations in life.
c. Past does not decide present. Learn to forgive people, learn to forgive yourself. Keep repeating in your mind, I forgive so and so. You need to forgive to set yourself free.
d. Create better present memories.
e. Stop repeating them in your mind and start repeating positive things.
f. Tell yourself, I am releasing every fear, every pain. I set myself free.
g. Do not question yourself, judge yourself for what others have done in past like do I lack something if the girl has left me. Is it my bad Karma?
Be at peace, create peace. Be love, create love.
