One gentleman called up and said that everyone in his office treats him disgracefully. They laugh at him, they call him by names and to earn their appreciation, he would do their work, working extra hours, still, everyone makes fun of him. He shared that the pattern was similar in school and college too. So I asked him, how do you want to be treated? He had no answer. Now, the next question was, are they right when they treat you like this? So when we started digging, we reached a time when he was small. All his cousins used to treat him same. He realized that these people reflected their behaviour. So what all started it?
Cousins, siblings and friends have a habit. They find a softer spot and make fun of him/her. Someone who does not answer back or who is extra nice. Generally, we are scared of ones who are bully or loud. He was a nice and soft guy. People assume niceness as weakness. He wasn’t weak. But now, he had started feeling weak because he felt that way. In the beginning, he did not reply back thinking they were his brothers and sisters. But then he started accepting it as his fate. So it was time that he changed the way he was thinking about himself.
So he told himself:
I deserve to be valued.
I deserve to be respected.
I am treated with respect and love.
I am honest with people and I deserve the same.
Soon he realized that things started changing. He did not accept what others were saying. He did not feel like making an extra effort to be a part of the group. If someone asked nicely and was in genuine need of help, he helped or else he did not accept extra work. In fact, people somehow did not feel so free in asking him to do their extra work. He started treating himself nicely and others too.
So it was not about others, it was about himself.
We need to know that we have to treat everyone with love and respect and we also need to know that we need to be treated nicely too. No one has the right to disrespect us.
