One gentleman who was stuck between a Universal struggle called up. The Universal struggle was between his wife and his mother. He said that his wife does not think high of his mother which hurts him. So I asked him, does she misbehave with your mother and the answer is no. Does she care less for her in anyway and the answer is no. Infact she does everything which can be done for my mother. Then why do you feel hurt? He was little embarrassed to say that my mother does not like my wife much because I had married against my mother’s choice. Second thing, my mother did not behave well with her. Then in that case why do you have things against your wife? Because I can see on her face that how she feels? How she feels when? Because my mother has done few bad things to her, so sometimes it’s reflected on her face. So you mean to say, that your mother has done few bad things which I am assuming might be a lot when her son is saying few bad things and your wife can’t even feel the pain? Thought she is taking care of your mother quietly? He actually did not have words to say anything. So how do you think she should feel? She is doing things anyway as per you?(Not to mention, I was also feeling little mad at this gentleman during the conversation). SO when he was thinking that how he wants his wife to feel, it made me laugh. So you are actually trying to control your wife’s feelings.
He was a nice man but unintentionally what we start thinking and believing, we do not realize that. We feel we have been nice and kind but we may not be. We feel we have given freedom to the other person and we may not. We may feel we are giving enough support to someone but we may not be. There is no point in trying to control others thoughts and feelings. Human beings are stupid. They want everyone to act as per their desire and above that they also want that other person should think as per me. If they think otherwise we get hurt. Instead of trying to control others thought process, we shall focus on how we feel and think. We shall focus on what we can do. If we will be more aware of our own feelings and thoughts and actions, we would be able to lead a better, peaceful life.
