Yesterday one client called up and was feeling remorseful about the things which he had been doing lately and he felt they were all under the obligation he was doing as he felt he should be doing. Few toward his family and few toward his parents. I asked him what exactly does he want to do and he gave a small list of the things which he wants to do and would make him happy. These things he was upholding only because of his own barriers like going for a holiday which he feels his parents might not like..starting own line of business so that he can establish his own identity and we other things. I asked him had he discussed these things with his family and the answer was no.
I meet so many people who feel they should do things and feel under obligation to do such things and in turn they feel only suffocated and feel that these things have been imposed upon them. Since childhood we are told things like you should do this and that and the result is we grow behind many invisible bars and stay caged. They are so strongly bounded by these chains that it takes forever to break free from them. How can an imprisoned person be happy in life, this question does not need any answers.
I hate this word I should as this makes you feel burdened, do the things because you want them or else do not do them, so many things we feel we should do and may not be required and then what happens we burden next generation with same you should and then I should..if you are free you will not impose things on others too. Liberate yourself from the burden of I shoulds.
Someone asked me then there will not be any discipline in the society and children will go out of control, we need discipline because we have boundations, and that’s why we burden others too..however, if its a free one…then everyone is the king of own free will and is responsible for own action. Instead of teaching discipline teach responsibility of self so that no one is burdened and ready to accept the responsibility. What do we do, we imprison them and then they pass on the blame..not fair on both sides.
