One mother of two was going through
depression because her husband’s family always told her that she was not a good
daughter in law. She broke down because she was tired of making efforts all the
time to hear from family that she is good. Her husband also was not very
encouraging. Infact gradually he also started feeling same. He also started
taunting at her for same. She built her hope on Children but when her entire
family and husband were not respectful towards her, they also learned same
thing. They also started telling her same. She lost it completely when her
elder one said that she would never be a good mother as per them. She went into
a stage where she needed medical attention. Scars were big and had gone deeper
in last 10 years. To deal with this situation she had to go through a complete
transformation. You cannot change people around you but what you can change is
what is inside you. What you can change is the way you have been dealing with
these people. She also had to do that. She decided on few things and started
telling herself:
depression because her husband’s family always told her that she was not a good
daughter in law. She broke down because she was tired of making efforts all the
time to hear from family that she is good. Her husband also was not very
encouraging. Infact gradually he also started feeling same. He also started
taunting at her for same. She built her hope on Children but when her entire
family and husband were not respectful towards her, they also learned same
thing. They also started telling her same. She lost it completely when her
elder one said that she would never be a good mother as per them. She went into
a stage where she needed medical attention. Scars were big and had gone deeper
in last 10 years. To deal with this situation she had to go through a complete
transformation. You cannot change people around you but what you can change is
what is inside you. What you can change is the way you have been dealing with
these people. She also had to do that. She decided on few things and started
telling herself:
1. I
am doing all I can and I am putting in my best efforts. After that if someone
does not care, she cannot force them.
am doing all I can and I am putting in my best efforts. After that if someone
does not care, she cannot force them.
2. I
cannot control what others are thinking and saying. They are giving what they
have. If they lack appreciation, they do not have anything to appreciate for.
How people treat others depends on how they are rather than how people are. A
person brought up in a locality where foul language was used would always use
foul language for everyone.
cannot control what others are thinking and saying. They are giving what they
have. If they lack appreciation, they do not have anything to appreciate for.
How people treat others depends on how they are rather than how people are. A
person brought up in a locality where foul language was used would always use
foul language for everyone.
3. I
love myself, just as I am. I accept myself just as I am. I believe in myself
and my intentions.
love myself, just as I am. I accept myself just as I am. I believe in myself
and my intentions.
4. I
am happy and I am peaceful. I am happy I am peaceful
am happy and I am peaceful. I am happy I am peaceful
5. I
forgive everyone. I forgive myself.
forgive everyone. I forgive myself.
6. I
am beautiful
am beautiful
Instead of telling herself all
the time that what would others say, if she would do ok, she started telling
herself all these things. Constantly she made an effort to smile and whenever
she looked into the mirror, she told herself that she is beautiful and she is
good. Efforts brought result and she improved tremendously. Good thing she did
was though she visited psychiatrist but she did not start his pills. She relied
on her internal strength and when she was able to build that, she was able to
deal with her situation better. After one year she started her small business
from home and she started making hand crafted goods. She started displaying in
exhibitions. She received appreciation from many people and this brought
respect in her family’s eyes too. It was not about what others said after that.
Point is, she started respecting herself and others also started respecting her
too.
the time that what would others say, if she would do ok, she started telling
herself all these things. Constantly she made an effort to smile and whenever
she looked into the mirror, she told herself that she is beautiful and she is
good. Efforts brought result and she improved tremendously. Good thing she did
was though she visited psychiatrist but she did not start his pills. She relied
on her internal strength and when she was able to build that, she was able to
deal with her situation better. After one year she started her small business
from home and she started making hand crafted goods. She started displaying in
exhibitions. She received appreciation from many people and this brought
respect in her family’s eyes too. It was not about what others said after that.
Point is, she started respecting herself and others also started respecting her
too.
Its not only about her, it is
about everyone. We love people and we want them to appreciate us. It is good to
receive appreciation but when our identity starts depending on others
appreciation then we would move into identity crisis. So we need to do whatever
we can and then appreciate self as much as we can. It’s like knowing what I do
and then believing in same. If efforts would lack from inside, we would never
be able to appreciate self. Our happiness depends on us and if we try to gain
happiness from others, we would always be miserable.
about everyone. We love people and we want them to appreciate us. It is good to
receive appreciation but when our identity starts depending on others
appreciation then we would move into identity crisis. So we need to do whatever
we can and then appreciate self as much as we can. It’s like knowing what I do
and then believing in same. If efforts would lack from inside, we would never
be able to appreciate self. Our happiness depends on us and if we try to gain
happiness from others, we would always be miserable.
