After 3 years of marriage one day his wife said that I am leaving you and she did not want to give any explanation. After 2 months, he got to know she is living with his best friend. Uptil now he was trying to understand the reason that why did she leave him, now, he was full of revenge for his best friend. He felt that because of his friend his wife left him, he lost his world. It could be true and it could be partially true. Often we ignore our own reasons which make a marriage fall apart. Sometimes we are less available for our partner, sometimes we may fail to understand our partner’s emotions or sometimes we have so many expectations that we create lots of negativity. Sometimes we fail to accept our partner, it could be 1000 reasons and some reasons may cause separation in one case but may not cause separation in another case. I have seen marriages sailing through even after husband’s multiple divorce and sometimes for no reason I have seen the lady walking out saying this is not what she is looking for herself in life. So it could be true that it is because of his friend or may be because of himself, but he was blaming his friend and he wanted revenge. He started saying that untill I would see him on his knees begging, I would not rest in life. But what would you get? Would you be peaceful? You are losing your peace right now. So should I just let him go without him realizing his mistake? What makes us think that he would actually realize what wrong he has done? Who are we to decide on something which we have no control? He was losing his sleep and health. He had to visit doctors to manage his day on pills so that he could control his anger too. Whether he would make his friend beg or not but certainly he was losing himself. When he seeked professional help to manage his emotions, he realized, before harming his friend, he was harming himself. He decided to forgive and move ahead. This forgiveness did not depend on the other person to realize his mistake but on his decision to release all the negativity from inside. After 3 months he was all a new person, healthier and happier! He was enjoying the freedom which he said he would not have gained otherwise.
We all go through situations in which we have been hurt. Closer is the person, more difficult is to forgive. Often we keep breeding revenge or keep desiring that the other person should suffer, we wait for the moment when Karma would strike back on them but we forget that in all this we are losing ourselves. We lose a better part of life. Moreover, what guarantees that even if that person comes and begs in front of you for forgiveness, you would be able to forgive from heart. In that moment also, it would be your decision to forgive rather than his suffering. Then why can’t we take the decision right now So that we can have freedom from all the burning and fire. Why do we have to keep burning for something which we can end right now. It is not easy, but that’s the way! So that we can be happy and do better things in life.
