He was not working. He left his job saying, I want to start my own business. She supported him and was trying to keep her promise. But it means extra stress on her. If she ever tried even talking about her stress, he always reminded her of how she was supposed to support her with her promise. However, he did fight with her saying she was too much into head because of money, she did not give him enough time. But if she asked him to support even for housework if not financially, he always said she was supposed to support him and for that also she had to give him some space to work. He made her feel guilty. Finally, when she was able to overcome her guilt, she left him! It was his attitude which killed her more.
So many times, I have seen couples fighting and expecting each other to put 50-50 in relationship. Honestly, we need 200-200. But there would be days when your partner would be contributing 0% and you would have to put 400% and some days your partner would put in 400% and you would be putting in 0%. We can never compare. So throw your ego out of the window if you really want to nurture your relationship. Through your selfishness if you want to have a happy relationship. Have compassion and try to understand your partner. We all have a need to share and to be understood. Fulfil that need for your partner. Know that he/she is already doing best. May not be best as per you but believe me, we all do better than our best in relationships. Let your partner know that you know about his/her efforts. Let them know that they are understood and they can share. Be there for them. If you cannot do anything, at least give them a hearing partner. At least give them a partner who can understand what they are going through.
Do not criticize, it is never positive or healthy even if it is said in the most positive way. Do not judge. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes, including their current life and years which they have not lived with you and then understand them. Try to understand what they must be going through. We all need that in a relationship. Be a loving partner, be a compassionate partner.
