“It is always lonely at the top”
We are capable of fighting and handling most of the things in life
but we get scared of self. Over the time we grow up, we realise we
have lots of insecurities, fears and guilts which do not let us be with
ourselves. So many times I meet people who are afraid of looking
themselves into the mirror. They get disconnected from the self and
thus start disconnecting from others too. We feel others are not reaching
to us but in reality we stop reaching to people.
We came alone in this world and we have to go alone. We cannot
expect our loved ones to die along with us. Even if there are
people who are there to support us, our life has to be led by us only.
We cannot trade our lives with someone. That happens in movies
only. We change our lives as per the thoughts and circumstances and
as per the mile stones we set up but together it is still our journey.
We meet many people on the way who may walk along with us for
few miles, but ultimately we have to travel this journey on our own.
However, higher we go in life the lonelier we get. So why do we feel
lonely, whenever our need for social interaction is more than our current
social interaction we feel lonely and when we are with the self,
this loneliness scares us as we feel we are growing up alone. To have
the feeling of security we make families and friends expecting that
we would not grow alone. But who guarantees that after 30 years of
marriage there wouldn’t be any divorce or your kids would support
you till your death. We know that old age homes are full of people
who have been deserted by their families.
Feeling of loneliness is in our thoughts mainly as we start feeling
lonely. However, the good news is most of us have to go through this feeling and how we handle this depends on us. If you think
people who are on top do not have this feeling, then we are mistaken.
So many times I wonder, when we have to curse the system and the
Prime Minister, we have so many places like we make forums, we
may protest or we may write but where would they go and write
that they are scared at that moment? Who is there to hold their hand
and say “do not worry, everything would be fine.” Like in our job,
we have moment of insecurities and fear, in their job also they would
have moments of insecurities. So many times situations are so difficult
to handle and it is so hard to decide. But can they go and tell
anyone, what would happen if their decision goes wrong? We are
afraid of one person criticising us and when they do, even if it has a
positive impact, they will be criticised. They will be criticised either
way. Can they go and tell anyone, I do not like this politics, I do not
know what to do in this situation, I do not know, how would I handle
so many scams, personally they are not done by them still they have
to shoulder the responsibility and still keep their smile intact. They
cannot say, I did not do, so I am not responsible. Can they share all
their feelings with anyone? Personally they are kept in such high
esteem that we refuse to believe that they have any such worries but
like you, everyone else is a human being and if you have fears, everyone
else has to. If you have a feeling of loneliness, everyone else
has. So do not get scared when you do not find anyone to share your
woes. It is same like you feel scared when you are sleeping alone.
You feel scared only if you think you should be alone; however, if
you chuck your fear aside thinking that most of the singles sleep
alone and nothing happens to them then you will not feel scared and
if something has to happen it can happen even when you are with
someone else too. You are lonely and scared only if you feel so.
Moreover, have you thought of one thing, that even if you get
to share with someone and he/she holds your hand and says he is
with you in what may come, you feel immediate strength and you
feel good but what has changed? Absolutely nothing! It is still you
who has to handle everything and every situation. It is just a support
for your thoughts. So if you learn to hold your own hand, you
will never feel lonely.
