One girl came to me,
who was having daily tiff with her husband. I asked her if she loves him and if
she wants to be with him. Her answer was yes. The next question was if you want
to live like this or you want to live with love peace and harmony and her
answer was later one. After that I asked her, what do you want to do about this
and she did not know. I said have you taken care of the few little facts like
if he is happy, if he is cheerful and he feels supported and she said ofcourse.
I asked her to explain and she said, on his birthday I gave a surprise party.
On our anniversary, I decorated our room and then I asked, why did you do that
and she could not understand the question. I asked her if she gave birthday
party so that her husband is happy or his friends would say that his wife gave
such a nice party which ofcourse would bring an ego boost and she was
speechless. Same way if she decorated the room to make him smile or to make him
appreciate her and she was kind of totally baffled. Ego is very smart it plays
very tricky games with us and does not let us accept that. Being in a
relationship is full time job which is very demanding. However, if you fulfil your
duties diligently, it is equally rewarding too, which will fill your life with
all the happiness. If in general, you keep fighting over petty issues but throw
a party for him, it may give him a momentarily smile but it won’t make him
happy. Happiness comes from daily understanding and support. Where you value
each others’ emotions and add value in each others’ lives. Life is a very
beautiful gift and is completed when two sides of love are blended but when the
ego comes in between, the relationship is hampered. A relationship is not about
the few big events in life its about how much efforts you are making in your
everyday life. It’s like a plant which needs to be nurtured daily. If you wait
to nurture your plant only on Holy and Diwali, it would die but if you take
care of it daily, it would flourish. You need to protect it daily from extreme
heat of sorrows and blows of wind or else it would break. The wind comes in
form of bombardments from outside. Do not think that if you have done anything
wrong in this or not, think that if you have been able to shield your
relationship from outside influences. If you have been able to add to it daily
so that it can prosper.
