Few days back a gentleman came to meet. he had a very turbulent life. His mother died of a terminal disease. His father married another lady when his mother got diagnosed with that disease. His new mother and father’s other family member did not treat him well. Did not even give enough food to eat. One day he left home and he was on his own. Though it was all over, but he was full of pain. he got married and he was on verge of divorce. he said that his wife says:
He is always full of complaints
He is always frustrated
He takes out anger on wife and children
He is ready to hit anytime
His family is in constant fear that when would he get angry.
He accepted that because of his childhood he always had bad feelings and he does not want to have that inside him. He did not want to be like that anymore. He wanted to save his marriage. He wanted to change but did not know how to! It is a good thing because most of us are unable to even accept that we need to change. We blame others for the situation. So what was happening? He was so focused on past pain that he was unable to create space for the new love of his wife and children. So he responded back with anger. He had to do two things:
Forgive and release past.
Focus and accept new.
He started practicing forgiveness (It took him a year)
He started focusing and talking about happy and good things. (He would talk about how beautiful his wife is, how he is blessed, he started associating past events with current happy situations like God blessed him with beautiful things after lots of pain and it was worth).
His constant hard work on himself and emotions helped him in being a new person. His all the complaints were over when he started focusing on present. He always would talk about love. After one year, he was so full of love for everyone around that, he even decided to support his father in old age!
Love is very powerful and we always have love in life. We would have darkness too. Everyday we have day and night both. It depends on us what we choose. We can simply choose day and sleep through night.
