They both came to me seeking help. They both wanted a solution. They both were full of anger. They both kept arguing. And for two hours after they both were finished, I asked them, what do you want. Why did you come here if this is what you had to do. The husband replied with pride that I was trying to solve everything, and she was not ready to listen to me. The wife also wanted to say but I asked her to be quiet. I took them out in the balcony and the sun was right up there. It was very hot. They asked why are we here. I asked them to wait. After few minutes, when we were sweating, and he could no longer take it, he asked for a glass of water. i was waiting for it. I gave him a hot cup of water. He felt mad that how can his thirst be clenched with a hot cup of water when he was already feeling so hot. He wanted something to bring down the temperature.
Exactly!
If a hot cup of water cannot kill your heat because it is generated by sun’s heat, how can your anger kill your wife’s anger. All this while you both have been arguing, you both are trying to kill each other’s anger with anger and that further infuriates both of you. If you need a cold water glass to quench it, for your anger or fight also you need a cold water glass. That would be a glass full of love.
Instead of trying to suppress each other, try to focus on solving. Instead of thinking, how I can defend myself, think that how can you address each other’s concern. Anger can never solve anger. hatred can never solve hatred. When you will express love, it will have power to solve everything.
