He was married for thirteen years and when he sat in front of me, his first statement was I spoiled her a lot. I gave her so much. Now, I cannot do more. I asked him, how have you spoiled her?
He thought for a while and said that whatever she wanted I gave her like a car, a driver, more money, a lifestyle, etc. But she still keeps complaining.
Did you actually sit and talk to her?
I have been busy with business.
What if she wanted you and she kept filling up the gap with the things you gave her. But because she never got what she wanted, so she was never satisfied?
But she never asked me anything else.
Did she things like, you never understand me, why do you care, what do you care, what do you know, etc.
Oh, this is always ongoing.
You feel you have spiled her but in reality, you never gave what a relationship needed. A relationship needs love, understanding, spending time with each other, listening, caring for each other with love, not to oblige by giving things. If you have not given her these things, you have not given anything else. All the things can be given by anyone else, but love can be given by a partner only. WE need to spoil each other with love. Have you spiled her with love?
I do not think so.
Still, you are saying I have done enough. It’s like sometimes parents keep giving more and more toys to kids as they cannot spend time with them. Then they complain that kids are spiled with things. These kids also when grow up, ask for more things rather than parents. It’s there in every relationship. In a relationship with your partner also, more than the things, we need to give time to each other. You need to love her, express your love for her and then see what’s happening.
He went back, tried making an effort. He realized she did not even want to step out of home! He thought she wanted all the things but in reality, she wanted him.
Make an effort. Spoil each other with love.
