She was crying. A mother of the 5-year-old child had beaten him up badly. She was well educated and working. She loved him very much. However, daily she would shout at him to control him and scream at him. Many times she would slap him and occasionally she would beat him. She shared that maybe if she would become more patent, things would improve. But she did not know what else to do and how to handle her child. She felt he was very intelligent and creative but he was losing it all in this daily struggle.
So the first question was do you scream at him or slap him when you are peaceful and relaxed? No.
Do you handle him better when you are peaceful yourself and the answer is yes.
So does he get beaten up more because you are more stressed? She was shocked by the revelation.
So what do we understand from this? We need to be peaceful, relaxed and happy so that we can handle things in a better way. We do not need to find better ways to handle our children in a better way. We need to become better ourselves.
So she started working on herself. She started prioritizing things. She started working on staying positive and peaceful. She stopped bothering about what others were saying. She set her expectations right rather than trying to meet everyone’s expectations. She started working on her relationship also. Which gave her another breather. Also, she started focusing on what type of relationship she wanted to have with her son. Within one month, things started changing. She no longer needed to shout at her son. She had an improved relationship. Because she was not handling her son negatively, she was further relaxed.
When she became better, everything in her life started improving including her son’s behavior. So if we really want to raise happy children we need to become happy first.
