At the age of 40, he was troubled. His wife did not want to stay with him and children were avoiding him. He was a perfectionist and as per his wife beyond possible. As per her, he could not even tolerate even one hair on the floor or one toy on the floor. When he came home, he wanted everything to be perfect including the kitchen. His wife’s maximum energy went in cleaning up things. She wondered what she could have achieved if she would have spent some energy on herself or kids. So finally she was ready to leave. He wondered why people wanted to leave him just because he wanted things to be neater and cleaner. HE wondered in office also he had similar situation. His employees used to change jobs very frequently.
I asked him, why he needed things to be perfect? He did not have an answer. But still he managed to say, because this is how they should be and he likes them that way. Wonderful, then you must follow them because you like them. But why do you make others follow, when they do not like them that way? THey like it some other way. Because they can’t be with you, the way they like it, that is why they want to leave you.
So what shall I do? First thing, know that what is important? Having your family or having a clean house. When there is a mess around, when there is a cooking smell, when there are toys around, know that people are living there. When it is all clean and pefect, it means may be no one lives there. Like a five star hotel. People stay there but no one is living there and that is why it is so perfect. Second thing, if you want your family to be there then they also have a right to live the way they desire. You can live the way you want but you do not have to impose that on others. Second thing, do it yourself and do not get frustrated for doing it all the time. Let them have their space too.
They need to be who they are, and you need to be who you are. So he shared that, when he was small, his school teacher used to hit him hard if he did not write the perfect words. I could see the pain flowing. But that teacher is no longer there. Second thing, did he like the teacher? NO! Then He realized it. So he just had to get rid of all the stress to be perfect and let himself be loose. Then who I shall be? Love, love and love. Be love because this is who we are. It took him a while to work on himself but within few months, with his conscious efforts, he could bring in the change. His family loved him back and he realized it was not the house or office, it’s love what makes us perfect.
