They got married 20 years back. Lived in a joint family for 15 years and then shifted to own place. His parents started living with the younger brother. For fifteen years he kept feeling that his wife was not good enough. But after shifting separately he realized she was better than he had thought. So he slipped into a depression. As he was guilt trodden, he started suppressing himself in front of his wife . Now, she started pointing out mistakes in him in everything. She used to feel those things earlier too but did not get an opportunity t express. Now, she felt she had that opportunity. Again they lost 5 years of relationship in all this. Her aggression, his suppression and depression, and now his aggression, their relationship was on the verge of breaking.
The thing was, they both wanted to change each other. They never thought of accepting each other. We all come as a package deal. We need to be accepted as a package. We can never be happy together if try to find problems and make each other better. If we want to better, it is a different thing. But trying to make each other better is not good. More over, if whole day we have been thinking like this where is the energy and focus to see what all good is there in the partner?
So what shall we do?
See what all good is there.
See what all good is done.
Appreciate that and acknowledge that.
See what all good be done in future.
Learn to forgive with love and without obligation.
Stop accepting each other to be perfect.
Stop comparing your relationship and your partner with others.
Situation needs love and who brings it does not matter. Try to bring in more and more love.
