Few days back, I saw a very happy couple. After 40 years of their marriage, they were looking at each other and smiling. While talking also, they were holding hands. It was so beautiful to talk to them. I asked them the secret behind their strong relationship and if they never had such times where they would question each other, were they always lost in each other with love and if they never felt like walking out. They started laughing and shared that they had everything I was asking. They fought more than normal couples. He used to give her names. When they got married, they were in a joint family. So his mother would complain about her and they would have a fight. For everything she had a complain and for everything they had a fight. So once during the fight his wife started crying. She said that I agree I have been doing mistakes. I agree I am not perfect. I agree that I may not meet everyone’s expectations. But i am trying. Am I getting space to correct things? She kept going on like that. Does anyone understand her because she needs some love to adjust here or how else she would. If everyone is just standing against her. He shared that he kind of became silent after that. He realized what was happening to her. So their relationship started after that. Where they started making an effort to understand each other rather than judging each other.
I remember once a 35 years old guy shared that earlier when he judged his father, he hated him, now, when he himself is a father, he could understand his father more, so he really respects and love his father.
Similarly, a gentleman shared that when he became boss, he realized, how difficult was for his boss to handle a team. How everyone always worked against boss. He had become a great friend with his boss after that.
Yes, often we see people from the lenses of ego, judgement, past experiences or what we have heard. But we rarely make an effort to understand each other. So do make an effort and then you would see the magic of human bonding. How easy it will become to accept and love each other.
