One couple came for relationship counselling. They seem to be doing fine and I wondered why have they come to me. generally I have seen people coming to me when they are standing on verge of divorce and somehow families do not want them to get divorce. Generally I am required to resolve their unresolvable differences. So I wondered why have they come. They said that they do not feel the spark in their relationship after five years. They feel it’s very dull and they have a very plain life. Which generally happens after few years of marriage. I was glad that they did not have fights and I was happy that they were aware enough to work on it.
So for next three months we were working together on building love and romance in relationship and here are the few learnings:
It will not happen on it’s own.
You need to make an effort to keep bringing in romance everytime. Do not discard small things saying they look good in movies. They look good even in daily life too. bringing flowers for each other, writing notes of I miss you and few things like that. Do the things and you will see the change
Do not take each other for granted
Do not under estimate the power of getting ready for each other when you go out only with each other. Do not start living out of Pyjamas. Make an effort. Do not assume that my partner has seen me in my worst so where does it make a difference. it does. It does bring in new life.
Help each other where ever you can.
Give a hand to each other. be there for each other rather than against each other.
Listen to your partner.
Do not ignore even if it is a daily cribbing. Do not feel that daily you start with same shit. No, for your partner her/his emotions are still stuck there.
Go on dates.
Talk about each other rather than just kids or chores. Explore each other from new perspective. You will learn lots of things about each other again. because in daily life so many emotions are ignored. Meet your partner every six months like you are meeting a new person and you will see there are so many things which need to be shared. Give that time to each other.
