A lady called up, who was very upset at her husband for saying silly things to her. I understand it was bad of him, we shall treat people around us and our loved ones with love and respect. Still after hearing her out, I realized that she was talking about 20 years old fights. I asked her, did you say anything to him in return? She said that no because she was very scared of him. After she had spoken her emotions out, I asked her to share nice things about herself? And she mumbled and fumbled but could not. She wondered and said that she would call back after half an hour with answer. She wanted to escape but I called her after 2 hours and asked her what had she thought about. She could not say anything nice about herself. So when was the last time, you treated yourself with love and respect? She could not answer. I asked her, if you would ask your husband to treat you nicely, what would he do? She thought and said that he would compliment me for my cooking, for my sari, he might take me shopping and treat me with love while we are out. Then do that and see you do you feel.
She went to the mirror, told herself nice things like you are looking beautiful, she went shopping, had a coffee also there and she kept saying nice things for herself. Her focus was on herself rather than what others think about her or might be thinking about her. Next day, she called up and said that she was feeling so good, nice and rejuvenated.
We wait for others to be nice to us and we forget to be nice to self.
We keep brooding over what others have said and we keep reminding ourselves of that pain every day.
We do not realize that there is a deficit of self love too here.
We need to learn to appreciate and be nice for self first.
After that we will have less expectations from others and we will focus less on what others are saying or thinking.
