A mother of 2 years old was shouting at her for not behaving in front of everyone. She also said that what would others think of you. After sometime, when no one was there, I heard two years old saying to her mother that why did she shout at her in front of everyone. It surprised me, that a two years old has that kind of understanding. But is it her fault? We condition our children to think as per others since the time they start gaining their awareness without realizing what kind of damage we are doing to their self esteem. Now, all their life they would depend on what others are thinking of us including those who do not matter in our lives. I guess this is the inception of looking good or not looking bad in front of others. Once a 7 years old was crying that his class mates are making fun of him as his father is bald. They are laughing at him. I asked him, if his father is really bald and he said yes. Then you must accept it. I understand it is bad of them to laugh at such things but because this is truth he should accept it and there is nothing bad in being bald. He must go and face everyone instead of hiding. He went and asked everyone, what if his father is bald, what is wrong in that. My father has done nothing wrong. When he stood tall, everyone was quiet and they did not have anything else to say. We all need to accept our truth like this. If there is a truth, we must accept it without worrying about what others are thinking of us and if it is not true. then they have all brains to think what they like because its not true.
WE cannot keep proving ourselves to others. We cannot change anyone’s thought process. We have no control over someone’s thought process. Because it is derived from so many things like past experiences, upbringing, the culture one grows in etc. Trying to manage impression on others is like trying to control so many factors which cannot happen. Even parents who try their best, how their child should think, do not have complete control over thought process of their child after certain age. Why to waste energy on something which we cannot control.
Rather than worrying about what others are thinking, we should take a pause and think, what do I think opf myself. It surprises me when I ask this. Most of the people have no answer. So take time out, ask yourself what do I think of myself. Do I like myself for who I am. If there is a person just like me, would I appreciate that person? Do I love myself? What ever we focus upon grows stronger in life and if we focus on others, they would be stronger but if we would start focusing on self, we would start becoming stronger because we would know what has to be done, what correction has to be done, what more is required! It would give us time to understand own strength and areas which we need to focus upon. It would help us in loving ourselves and then others more.
