At the age of 45, she was guilty of leaving her in laws home because her husband always told her that she was one of the most selfish lady he had ever seen. She only thinks of herself. Such bad words from your partner can tear apart your confidence. I asked her, why did you leave? She said that they treated me like a maid. I was still happily doing everything but they never spoke to me with respect. They always spoke bad about me. I never heard any word of appreciation. I kept tolerating on the name that this is how things happen. But then my daughter was also treated similarly. So finally when I could not take it any longer, I left for my parents house and I refused to come back till we get separated. Since then my husband blames me for keeping him separated from his family. It sounded like a typical Indian joint family scenario. Where Daughter in laws are taken for granted, they receive less respect on the name of this is how things happen and they are ingrained with the conditioning that they have to tolerate everything to be with their husbands. Here are few things to be considered:
1. Her in laws did not treat her well. They did not treat her as a part of the family.
2. All the responsibility to maintain the relationship was on poor girl rather than the entire family. (Why such unfair behavior)
3. The husband did not take corrective actions to control the situation. (We all are conditioned to believe that this is how things happen)
4. After tolerating everything for years, when she realized that no one would stand up for her, she stood up for herself actually for her daughter. (Was she wrong if yes where was she wrong)
5. Her husband was a partner in her decision. To be with his wife, he took a decision to get separated. Why to blame her for entire life?
Its an irony that in most of the joint families, there is too much pressure to maintain a husband wife relationship (Even if they have all the fights) but everyone contributes a lot in tearing apart the same relationship. They fill up the man against wife, they get very less time to be with each other and to sort out things, issues left unresolved over years cause great damage.
Now, the question is was she wrong in taking a step? It was about her self respect and integrity.
Everyone needs to be respected and loved and if not, then everyone has right to distance away from such people who do not respect you or they use you. Do not abuse relationships on the name of living together and this is how things happen. If they have been happening like this, then they need to be changed.
