Their 20 years of marriage was on the verge of divorce. They dated for five years before getting married. Everyone was wondering that can it happen after 25 years of relationship?
Yes, it can, if we stop putting in efforts. Relationships need to be maintained and nurtured everyday. If we will not have relationship on priority anytime in life, it would start falling apart.
They asked further questions:
1. We used to have so much love earlier but we do not have now, why?
Again the answer is same. You used to put so many efforts for each other at that time. You would get ready, talk on phone for hours, share your feelings and life and would have patience to listen to others feelings and life things. But with time, we stop making efforts and we stop taking each other for granted. We stop listening to each other.
One gentleman complained that my wife gets ready when we have friends while going out but when its two of us, she does not get ready. She felt that, he has seen her always what new he would see and he felt that she did not want to go out with him as she had stopped making efforts.
If we start making half of the efforts right now of what we used to make initially, the relationship would flourish.
Do we have to make a continuous impression?
Yes, at that time we made efforts to impress each other and they are required everyday. It would keep the spark alive.
We used to make efforts to look attractive and they are still required. Because in our mind we have to look attractive to selves too. In reality, when we stop making efforts, we have somewhere lost interest in self too which is very dangerous.
When we have lost interest, we expect others to fill up that void which can never happen.
Why do we need more maintenance or efforts in old relationship?
When we shift into a new house, we need less repair and maintenance. But as the house becomes old, it start demanding many things. Similarly, in a new relationship everything is new. No expectations and no complaints. But with time, the relationships are scarred with them. That is why we need more efforts.
What kind of efforts do we need:
First of all have it in priority list
Be available to hear out
Make efforts to see each other smiling
Look attractive, make constant efforts
Try to communicate what you feel bad and expect from each other
Try to make an effort to understand and be understood
Do not assume
Be happy, be loving.
