I went to a workshop and on the last day everyone was supposed to give feedback to each other. Everyone started sharing improvement areas. More the sharing and worse the listener was feeling. I wondered if feedback only meant shortcomings or something good also. Then I started observing that people are very proud of pointing out what the other person is lacking or what’s not right even in general life. Very rarely I have seen someone who goes and appreciates people.
I wonder if we are trained to hurt each other, treat each other like this and then feel proud of it. We take pride in saying I am a very good critic. We are training our generations for same. We tell them, we should be open to feedback. Which also means, they would also feel very proud of saying negative things.
How would the relations improve? How would we feel love for each other?
I remember once I went to a party very casually dressed and everyone was making fun of me. I was hardly getting affected with all the comments and mockery I was receiving from some extended family and friends. But one person came and said that, You are so cool. You had guts to do what you really wanted. You did not care about what would others say. You just did what you want to do. It brought a smile on my face and I said a big thank you with a smile. Not to mention my friendship with that lady blossomed after that. It was an immediate connection.
It’s not about nurturing ego! It is about sharing more love. We do not put the other person down in love. We appreciate the person, we defend our loved ones and that’s the way to increase love and improve relationships.
Can we learn to appreciate rather than criticize? Try it today and you would feel so good about yourself!
