They were married for 10 years. They wanted a divorce. Their families were pressurizing them to continue as they had three children. No one could understand the reason. Everyday they had fights and in every fight they were fighting for all the 10 years. No fight was ever resolved. They were taunting each other now and then. With taunts anytime fights could trigger. To avoid that they stopped talking and there was a coldness. With coldness they were feeling suffocated. So whenever someone talked, it was a heated dialogue.
Their elders did not know, what to do.
They approached a marital counsellor, who after listening to them realized that they have never worked on releasing the emotions. They have just kept filling up. Now, when they had no more capacity to take more issues in, they have started fighting. The only way to create space inside them was by releasing the old issues. That can happen only when they forgive each other for those things.
How can it happen?
First of all sat down and write what all issues you have.
When we write down with clarity, we realize that there are not so many issues. We have been repeating them again and again.
Write down, all the good things also. Often we would realize good things are more in number.
Then see what matters. We would realize most of the issues did not matter
Discuss what matters to resolve rather than to taunt each other or to fight.
After that practice forgiveness.
tell yourself I forgive!
Forgive yourself. Forgive the other one. Forgive the incidences. Forgive whatever is hurting you.
Holding onto past bad memories is like holding on to the splinter which has pierced your body. Would you throw it to relieve pain or let it be there. So release whatever is hurting you.
We are bound to get hurt in any relationship. To be happy and not to get hurt with same, only option is forgiveness.
