One gentleman was always very critical of his wife. It was adversely affecting her confidence and their relationship. I asked him why do you do that and he said that, I want her to improve. I want her to become better. Better than whom?
He had no answer! Somewhere he was comparing her with many other women he was meeting for work!
His purpose was to improve her but what was happening?
She was losing her confidence
She felt that he did not like her. She made constant efforts to win his appreciation but she could not. So she started hating him somewhere.
She started talking bad about him to the children and they also started disrespecting him.
He asked a question that how can I improve her?
I told him that he was the worst husband I had ever seen and he felt very bad. Then I asked him how do you feel? What would you do? He said that I would make some efforts to improve! But what if I start saying this to you almost everyday? He thought for a while and said that I may not even like coming to you! That’s the point. For so many years you have been telling her what all she lacks? That she is not good enough!
Then I asked him, what if I would say you are a wonderful husband! How do you feel. He said that I feel wonderful and I feel like becoming better. Exactly that’s the point. You can improve others by appreciating, by finding their good qualities. You can never help someone in becoming better by hurting them. We can do that with love.
Find good in others. Find good in yourself. It will improve. It will create things with love.
