You are going for some special occasion, you do not like what’s there in your wardrobe and you borrow a friend’s shirt. Now this occasion could be some party or an interview. Now all the time you are conscious that how is it looking on you. You keep checking out yourself in the mirror that everything looks ok. You are so conscious of your appearance and you are irritated at own behaviour. Why is it happening? Because you were trying to become someone else. You were not contended in what you have and what you were. Whenever you will wear a facade and will try to become what you are not, you will always feel lack of confidence and you will not feel your realself. If you would have been wearing your own shirt, does not matter how tattered it is, you would have known what you were wearing and how it is looking on you. You would not have been self conscious. So do not try to become someone else which you are not. First you are cheating yourself and then you are cheating everyone else too. I had a friend, who always claimed that he was very rich, he tried spend more than he could afford and got into debts. By the time we finished college, he was not left with any friend. Now I understand we should not choose friends on the basis of financial status, however, we cannot be with someone who is always trying to be pretending someone else, we cannot be with someone which is just an illusion created by someone else. I have friends from all financial backgrounds and all age groups. In another example, 2 years back, I met someone, who always claimed to be a pilot, after sometime I got to know, he had started training and left in between and he just wanted to lure some venture capitalist to get the project by claiming to be a pilot. However, when his story tumbled out, he did not have a face to stay in the business.
Accept what you are and be proud of what you are. I am not talking about vanity, however, you should love yourself for what you are. If you do not like something like you know you get angry very fast, then control it, whatever it takes. You need attend some anger management sessions or you need to visit a therapist do it. Do not think less of yourself because of financial status. If someone is richer than you let him be, you do not have to be intimidated by that. He has the power of money and he can use that only if you let him use that. Everyone is unique in this world and why do you have to leave your own unique place to become someone else? Only you can be YOU, why do you want your place to be deserted? You can be self confident only if you like yourself and for that first stop comparing yourself with others. In one of seminars, one person said once we compare to ourselves to others and we find ourselves better than others we build self confidence, how hollow and fragile. If you will build your confidence on the basis of comparison you will lose it as soon as you will see someone better than you in any field as you cannot be best in everything. How self insulting! Instead if your confidence is based on your own self knowledge and after realising own self worth, no one can take it away from you. You lost it because you did not build confidence, you just gave some food to ego that I am better than this person and felt swelled up. This way you are insulting yourself, no need of someone else to do so. If you do not like something change it, work on it, false pretences will not help.
I would say:
“Love yourself for what you are, if you do not like something change it.”
But do not try to become someone else or you will be living in a world which does not exist and you will just be lying to yourself.
