We all face different circumstances in day to day life, some makes us feel good and some makes us feel bad. In the category of bad we have feeling of frustration, anger and a clenched fist where we feel we have no control over things. They come in the form of problems. We try to change problems or many of the times we try to run away. We feel we are unable to do anything. We try to control the situation or others. However, the big truth is we have no control over situation and what others think or can do. More we come closer to the fact that we are unable to do anything more frustrated we feel. We feel helpless. However, we forget that the only place where we can make any change is to self. We are called selfish, but we think least about self. Once I had a client and he had lots of problems at home. He decided to move to Australia so that he could start afresh. I asked him one thing, that how would he make sure that he would not have any problems in Australia? He said he would have new people, new job and new home and all the problems which he had the home would not exist there. But how would he guarantee, he would not have problems in job or the problems which he would face in settling down or the comfort which he was getting here he would not miss there and there could be so many things like this. He said that he would see then. So i asked him, would you change your country again? And he was shocked, because it is embedded in attitude. Most of the time what I have seen is people do not want to solve the problem, they just want to see their position is safe and no one is pointing finger at them. They do not like to talk about something as they avoid confrontation, that is like being a coward. Communication is the biggest key. Talk to the person with whom you have the problem. Put your efforts to solve the problem. Second put your efforts to increase the endurance so that you can fight them. Do not fight the person, fight the situation. make yourself strong enough that you never give up on life. Running away does not help and just staying away also does not help. Controlling things also does not help. What helps is your maturity to handle the things and your attitude toward it. Change your outlook, if you will understand from others perspective, may be the problem would solve. Try to find the solution not a way out to keep your image intact. If you just worry about how the malice does not come on you, it would just boost your ego and would not solve any problem. To change the circumstances, you need to change yourself, once you change yourself, they would also change.
