There was a lady who was carrying lots of hurt. On and off she would cry and get angry and fight with her husband. When we delved into her situation, she shared that when she got married her husband was living with his brother and brother’s wife. They were not financially stable so she started supporting family financially. Along with that they also gave her charge of kitchen too. She would get up early, cook for everyone, leave for work. And she would buy things to manage home and kitchen. But despite of doing everything she always heard bad things about herself. When she could not cook, they all cooked for themselves but no one cared for her. She would mostly eat outside if she could not cook at home. Still they would say bad things to her. She had reached to a stage after 2 years that she started staying sick and she stopped talking to anyone. But still they did not understand and still blamed her for many things. Her husband was a nice man but he always felt obligated under his brother and did not say anything for this situation. the day came when his brother and his wife started blaming him for many things and for not doing enough for the family. they said that you are the reason for our problems and he left home with his wife. They set up their own abode but past was still hurting and used to come in between them. Life is funny! Relationships continue despite of what bad had happened. So whenever they would meet or were supposed to meet, it would bring back all the hurt. The lady said that I have never been able to share my emotions and what kind of torture I have been through, so the hurt continues.
I understand these are big things to say, forgive and forget. Forgive for yourself. Set the space free. And many things like that. But eventually what can heal everything is love.
In such situations, things hurt us more because we expect others to understand us, sympathize with us and love us. And mostly we do not find anyone who can do that for us. So people start looking for solace outside. But that might lead us to a wrong path. So instead of falling into a trap and expecting someone else to come and understand you and love you, be your own support. Love yourself more and more. Cheer up yourself more and more. Do things which will make you smile. Look at yourself into the mirror and tell yourself you are good and you are brave. You have the strength of the whole world. Tell yourself you deserve a nice hug instead of telling yourself that no one understand me, no one loves me. Tell yourself that I am with myself always. Instead of saying no one is with me (When you do that, you are telling yourself you are alone and fears and insecurities would come) tell yourself, I will take care of you always. Be your own strength. Instead of hurting yourself more and more, love yourself more and more. Hold your own hand and you will find all the strength you need.
